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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22522717">Along Came A Spider</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DressedToStress/pseuds/DressedToStress'>DressedToStress</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Deadpool (Comics), Spider-Man (Comicverse)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Eldritch Spidey, But he's still like, Contiuation dependent on Reader reaction, Deadpool still gets a crush, Have Eldritch Darkness instead :), M/M, Mr Die Whenever I Can, Peter Parker is no longer human, Radiation is Bad For You, and also Aunt May, because Uncle Ben, but for a different reason, even though he still has enough of his lizard brain that even He, gets a big sense of apprehension around Spidey, slight angst, umf that non-static ass tho</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 11:27:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,053</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22522717</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DressedToStress/pseuds/DressedToStress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Newly turned mutant Spider-Man has it tough, but newly Eldritch Spider-Man is having a much better time of it with the whole, not having human reservations, thing.</p><p>Deadpool is infatuated with him no matter what form he takes.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Peter Parker/Wade Wilson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>137</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Along Came A Spider</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i wrote the beginning of this... holy shit <em>three years ago</em>, goddamn. it's been sitting in my drafts because i had no idea how to continue it, or if it was done. been stressed, so i was reading my own stuff, found this and in between worrying over dialogue thought 'this is good like this'. so here you guys go. Spidey and Pooly are their comic versions even though I haven't read anything about them other than their fanfics, because picturing their cinematic versions together with any kind of romantic context makes me really ill.</p><p>sorry for not updating my other stuff, been focusing on my original works for publishing and on the shitstorm of my personal life that needs to be wrangled. spoiler: it's really fucking good at bucking me for a loop</p><p>also, there's a mention of some rumors that were going around as i was writing this. as of last year, they have now come to fruition. i'm waiting for that Avengers/Deadpool meet and greet scene, disney. very patiently.</p><p>and, as is the case with most content involving Deadpool, this is your </p><p> </p><p>  <strong>GORE WARNING</strong></p><p> </p><p>fairly mild for something involving Deadpool, but there is lots of blood, so for the people who no-likey bleedy... i'm very sorry, this fic might not be the best fit for you. the mature tag is also solely for the violence in this. the closest these two get to sex is <em>alluding</em> to <em>future</em> dirty pick up lines and a teasing remark about being eaten being kinky (this was obviously Deadpool, because of course it was).</p><p>if you don't really care about it, (like me), then onwards my fellow eldritch-lovers! Go! Read the gay!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Peter <em>used</em> to have a whole family.</p><p>And then some two-bit crook shot his Uncle.</p><p>Peter <em>used</em> to be human.</p><p>But that night in his room while balling his eyes out, a spider made of darkness (old, OLD darkness) bit him and he blacked out with his eyes rolling back into his head and convulsions running through his body.</p><p>Peter <em>used</em> to have a home.</p><p>But he woke up to Aunt May screaming at the sight of him and he fled, the first instinct that caught up to him (and he's so thankful it was that one).</p><p>No more family, no more friends, no more school, no more… Peter.</p><p>Because now he was a completely different being.</p><p>It wasn't so bad, actually, once he got over the soul-crushing anguish of losing his entire life. He still had his mind, if it didn't have just a bit more knowledge about certain things than it did before. He still had his principles, even if his morals were slightly tilted (Flash's soul had nightmares about how he devoured him until he completely integrated it). Something about criminals, the small ones, the ones no one really paid attention to, still made him righteously angry (even if he did eat that two-bit crook's soul too. It was disgusting but satisfying in the way that he felt he made up for Aunt May seeing him just a little, if for nothing else) so he started dealing out his own punishment.</p><p>Peering into their being with as many tiny beady eyes as he wished to freak them out with and either tying them up with the shadows around them for human authorities to pick up the traumatized baddies if he deemed them worthy of some redemption or just swallowing them out of existence, none of the crimes they committed ever happening and memories of their life within anyone they've ever come in contact with never being made.</p><p>He made sure he was never seen, of course. And if he did have to reveal himself to stop something atrocious from happening he ate the memory of himself. So the humans only ever saw the 'good' side of his deeds, a bunch of bad guys strung up to be put in jail with a small post-it listing their wrong-doings stuck somewhere on them with a crudely drawn spider (the little paper squares were his weakness, he never can resist taking just a small stack off the top when some poor office worker isn't looking at the shadows cast behind their monitor). And now they call him the Spider-Man. He's thankful they managed to get his pronouns right, even if he doesn't have a concrete set of genitals he still thought of himself as 'he'.</p><p>His form, now indistinguishable from the night sky with its darkness and shining twinkles of his many eyes, will sometimes be perceived as different colors with his changing moods and they default to the ones on the human spectrum of visibility because of his past alignment. The colors that are most prevalent are his bright red anger at all the wrong doings that some people get away with and the calm but bold with exhilaration blue as he waltzes between and through patches of night and shadow.</p><p>A human, a photographer, manages to catch him weaving through the sky at one point and at that moment he is both red and blue as he scurries to deliver justice to an armed purse snatcher. In the photo the blob of him is only vaguely human shaped but they write it off as his speed. Someone manages to take his two colors and design an entire supersuit around them, and he's pleased that they also include his darkness in the webs they believe are draped all over him and the shine of his eyes in the white eyeholes. He influences the artist just a little and now the rendering has the build he used to as a human.</p><p>The art is released and compared to the photo and the humans excite themselves over the possible similarities until they believe them to be true (which, he won't lie, he helped influence <em>just</em> a little). And now with a name and a form that's believed in, Spider-Man has a semi-permanent being that he can shape himself into when he needs. He puts in a few appearances with this form while stopping criminals and a few weeks after that when a small reporter asks him a few questions and expects a certain type of voice to come from him, he takes it from their mind and speaks with it, all sassy one-liners and boyish charm. Like he used to be.</p><p>What the humans consider to be a long period of time goes on after that. He stops criminals, he eats the really bad ones, he shoots webs of darkness and bad puns, he helps the beings that he once was. And he gets better at it. The more criminals he consumes the more he can pick out traits that point to the ones he'd have as meals, even from long distances through darkness. And he curiously finds one cornering another one day in an alley.</p><p>"You leave Tracy alone, <em>or</em> I chop your dick off. It's not that difficult a decision. I know which one I would choose if I were you."</p><p>The threat is real. Both Spider-Man and the threat-ee know it, if the acrid smell now coming from the man is any indication.</p><p>"Don't kill me! Just please don't kill me!"</p><p>"I think that entirely depends on what you decide here, man," The cornering one shrugs helplessly, blade still pointed unerringly at the other man. "It's not really up to me."</p><p>"This is all that bitch's fault!" The cornered one suddenly cries. "I bet she sucked your dick to put you up to this, didn't she?!"</p><p>A swift movement that humans would have trouble keeping track of, and then the cornered man is screaming, holding his blood-soaked crotch. "I got paid a hundred bucks, actually." The other man is still screaming, it's getting on Spider-Man's nerves. "It's not much, yeah, but it's the best a college girl could afford with, you know, having to eat and pay for books and all that, so it's an appreciated effort."</p><p>The man's screaming rackets up in pitch as he tries to put pressure on the wound and instead hurts himself even worse.</p><p>The man in red, clothed in it, splattered with it, sucks air through his teeth in false sympathy. "Been there, man." He wags his blade chastisingly. "But you made your choice! Now we know we're not going to follow Tracy around and make disgusting comments about her, don't we?"</p><p>The man sobs hysterically.</p><p>The other sighs. "Now I have no idea what his answer is."</p><p>"I do," Spider-Man finally decides to cut in. Both of them turn and both of their eyes widen when they see Spider-man. The bleeding man forgets his pain to start gibbering in fear but the man with the blade is quiet and still as he stares. Spider-Man chooses to ignore the latter for now, turning all of his many eyes on the bleeding man. "You blame Tracy for this, don't you, Nick?" The man starts weeping when Spider-Man says his name, some instinct inside him telling him that if he knows that then it's already too late. "When you heal from this, you'll find her again, make sure she regrets it," Spider-Man's eyes gleam as they follow the man's thread of corruption to more like him. "Get friends to make sure she'll regret it, won't you, Nick?" In less than a nanosecond he's in front of Nick and the man now smells of excrement. "Tell me their names, Nicholas Garth."</p><p>Hyperventilating, Nick tells Spider-Man the names of his next potential meals. Unaware that they're now being evaluated, weighed against each other and themselves for who will be eaten first if at all. And then-</p><p>"Thank you, Nick."</p><p>"Please don't kill me," he whispers.</p><p>Thousands- millions of legs cage him in his spot against the alley wall, surrounding him in darkness. "Dying is too sweet a mercy for you, I think." And Spider-Man swallows him.</p><p>There is blessed silence in the alley now. There is no more screaming, or crying, or even blood. Not on the walls, not on the man who still has his blade in his hand. Spider-Man doesn't so much as turn around as he does focus the eyes on that side of him on the man. "Huh," the man says, "Not gonna lie, that was the most trippy thing I've ever seen. And I've brewed coffee with Monster in the water tank and PCP mixed in the grounds, so that's sayin' somethin'." The man tilts his head as he looks at Spider-Man. "Where'd you even put Icky Nicky? You don't look like you've… swallowed? Enveloped? A full grown man."</p><p>Spider-Man blinks. "You still remember his name?"</p><p>The man blinks. "You just said it. Was I not supposed to? Sorry, my ears are too nosy for their own good."</p><p>Spider-Man blinks again and tilts his head. "Did you just make a joke?"</p><p>"That was actually just the Author's attempt to creatively describe something in a new and different way ending up as a happy puncident, but I will happily take the credit for that, yep."</p><p>"Puncident… Never heard that one before. Heard of punishment, which is this entire conversation basically, but puncident's new."</p><p>The man smiles under his mask and points his sword non-threateningly at Spider-Man. "You. I like you."</p><p>Spider-Man hums, it's quiet and soft like a million web strands vibrating. "I still haven't decided if I should eat you yet."</p><p>The man meows while making a clawing motion at him. "Kinky."</p><p>Spider-Man tilts his head. "I haven't had thoughts like those in a while."</p><p>"Shame, they're my favorite-" He tilts his head. "Sorry, <em>our</em> favorite, Yellow wants that to be known and though he will not admit so himself, they're White's favorite, too- Yes, they are. You are not a river, don't be like this."</p><p>Spider-Man tilts his head the other way. "You are insane."</p><p>"Yep! That's my game, it won't wear out, no matter how many comic artists and movie producers wish it would." He looks off in a random direction and shields his mouth as he whispers, "And Disney finally caught on to all the hype and snatched up parts of Fox, but you didn't hear that from me, so you have to be surprised when I finally get to compliment Mr. Rogers on that all-American ass. I will salute that beauty no matter how wrinkly it gets and I will not stop until I do." The man demonstrates this willingness by saluting now.</p><p>"You know I can hear you, right?"</p><p>"Ooh! Is that because all shadows are your eyes and ears?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Great, now I know where to whisper all my dirty come-ons!" The man wiggles his eyebrows.</p><p>Spider-Man's eyes squint. "How does your mask <em>do</em> that?"</p><p>"Comic book costume logic! Rule 1: Make sure your characters convey emotion. Even if it breaks the laws of known fabric physics."</p><p>Spider-Man is quiet for a long moment, during which the man starts another conversation with himself. In the end, he decides, "You confuse me. I have no idea if I should eat you, so I'll be keeping an eye on you."</p><p>The man's mask blinks, mildly frustrating Spider-Man. "What's the criteria for <em>not</em> being eaten?"</p><p>Spider-Man smiles, and now the way the man's mask moves doesn't aggravate him because the way his eyes stretch wide at all of his fangs is gratifying. "Don't be like Nick," he answers simply.</p><p>"Oh, well that's easy. Just don't be an utter dick." Humming in agreement, Spider-Man moves to melt into the shadows, but pauses when the man calls out to him. "Don't you need to know who I am? Or tell me who you are?"</p><p>Spider-Man huffs out a laugh that he knows sounds like the hissing of a tarantula. "I don't need your name to find you, and knowing mine won't protect you." And he fades into the darkness of the alley.</p><p>Deadpool takes a moment to take in all that's happened. "Well, that was creepy as fuck." The boxes agree with him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>honestly, it's up to you guys if i continue this or not, but like i said in the above notes, life is currently kicking my ass, so there would be a significant delay on that.</p><p>also!!!! first MARVEL fic, fuck yeah!!!!</p><p>Edit: alright, I've been barraged by enough pleas for a continuation that I've met my quota. as soon as I think up a plot for this, I'll post some more. and hey, if you have any ideas, this time <em>I'm</em> pleading for <em>you</em> to throw 'em at me! maybe I'll bite if the inspiration hits (see what i did there? ;) )</p><p>Edit, the sequel: SOMEBODY FOUND RECEIPTS it's about PJO but DP is mentioned https://thestressedbitch.tumblr.com/post/637280577359396864/correct-me-if-im-wrong</p><p>Spider-Man and all his franchises do not belong to me, they belong to MARVEL and now Disney.</p><p>Deadpool and all his franchises do not belong to me, they belong to Marvel and now Disney. (Still patiently waiting for that scene, Disney. 👀)</p><p>Please don't post anywhere else, or Spidey will find you! :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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